March 17, 2010

Waiting To Be Called

As I sit here at the DMV waiting for my number to be called I think about Abraham being called by God in Genesis 12:1.

Now the LORD had said to Abram:
      “Get out of your country,
      From your family
      And from your father’s house,
      To a land that I will show you.”

Just like Abraham, in life we are often waiting for our number to be called and sometimes we are so busy engaged in other things that we don’t hear the call when it is made, or worse we mistake it for something else when we do hear it.

I have been searching for my calling for the past few years and in many cases I have heard God making that call and I have convinced myself that it was something else. In one specific case, he spoke directly to me(while riding in the car on the way to church no less) and asked me to tell my wife what he was telling me. I told myself that it was just my mind convincing me of something I was thinking. I now realize I was wrong. Why? Because he gave me specific consequences of what would happen if I did not listen. It was not until today at this very moment I write this that I made that connection.

He promised difficulty and hardship if I did not listen but at the time things were getting better and I was convinced that this could not be. I was certain this was in my head. I’m sure that I am not the only person that has internal conversations with himself. I do think that I may be more aware of them than most but I‘m certain I am not the only one having them.

Even as I right this I’m still afraid to voice what he is asking me to do because I worry about the ridicule and puzzled looks I may get from friends and family when I make this known. Psalms 3: 3-6 is no comfort to me at this point.

 3 But You, O LORD, are a shield for me,
         My glory and the One who lifts up my head.
 4 I cried to the LORD with my voice,
         And He heard me from His holy hill.  Selah
 5 I lay down and slept;
         I awoke, for the LORD sustained me.
 6 I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people
         Who have set themselves against me all around.
I guess that it is up to me to step out in true faith and trust Him and what he has asked me to do.

UPDATE: Ok, so since this post I have continued to not do exactly what He asked me to and in that time the bank has charged me a fee that it can't reverse, my transmission has broken, and I got a flat in the one tire I didn't replace on my car.

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